What is Love?
by zimniysoldat
Summary: ONE-SHOT! Destiel... Dean is realizing his feelings for a certain angel grow over time, and during a hunt Castiel is gravely injured. Will it be too late for Dean to tell Cas?


**A/N: Hello! This is my first ever Destiel fanfic. I don't own Supernatural sadly, if I did Castiel and Dean would totally be together by now :) Also I would like to thank Tiger and Spider for being my wonderful BETA. She had to read through 2 copies and pick out the little mistakes and for that I admire her. All reviews are excepted the good and bad. I really don't mind. The bad reviews will only make me a stronger writer. Also if there are any errors that we may have missed please don't hesitate to tell me. That is all, enjoy :)**

It was supposed to be just another demon hideout, a stupid little job, but it turned out to be so much more than that. It was the day that their lives changed immensely. It was in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, a small town that not many are familiar with. In an old abandoned factory called the Bethlehem Steel there were about 20 demons. It might seem like a lot to you, but for Dean and Sam Winchester it was nothing, something they could do in their sleep; especially with the help of their dear friend and brother, Castiel an angel of the lord.

Dean packed his things in the back of the 1967 Chevy, Impala. Sam was already in the passenger seat ready for the drive. He closed the trunk and heard a soft flutter of wings indicating an angel had appeared. Turning he became face to face with bright cerulean eyes and his heart sped up slightly "Cass, personal space!" "My apologies, Dean" Castiel replied in his gruff tone taking a step back. Dean just chuckled to himself. Cass furrowed his eyebrows slightly. "Wouldn't it be easier to just fly there?" "No thanks, I'd rather drive my baby." Dean stated in a light matter of fact tone. Cass nodded briefly "Are you coming?" Dean questioned as he got in the driver's seat. Once seated Dean peered in the rearview mirror and saw Castiel sitting in the backseat gazing out the window deep in thought. Dean turned over the ignition and drove off.

By the time they got to Bethlehem it was already dark outside so they decided to check into a hotel. The hotel they were staying at was Comfort Suites University. It was a small 3 star hotel just 2 minutes down the road from the hideout. "I'll be going then" Cass interrupted once they were all out of the car. Dean turned swiftly and grabbed Castiel's hand before he could leave. "No, just stay here with us for a bit" he told Cass. Castiel's eyes locked on Dean's and he stated "If that is what you wish," as he glanced down at Dean's hand in his. Dean realized the position that they were in and abruptly let go before awkwardly nodding his head turning away. During the encounter Sam had already gotten their room and was currently coming back to meet up with Dean. He didn't see anything….that time.

"I don't understand the prospect of cleaning myself when I don't need to" Castiel admitted to Dean in the hotel room with a towel in his hand. Dean sighed with frustration it had been 10 minutes of him trying to explain a shower to Cass and with Sam just in the background silently laughing and not helping, it was futile. "Okay then, close your eyes and listen to what I am saying" Dean instructed the clueless angel. "Now, listen carefully. You can hear Jimmy in there right. You told me, he helps you sometimes during people situations." Cass' eyebrows furrowed for a brief amount of time before he nodded. "Good, now just get in the bathroom, and have Jimmy tell you what to do. Is he capable of that?" Castiel opened his eyes and tilted his head slightly. "Of course he can, we-". Cass was cut off as Dean pushed him through the doorway into the bathroom.

In that bathroom Cass stood staring at his towel for a few solid minutes before he finally let Jimmy talk. _"Hello Castiel. Look I know you are new to this, and it is going to be frustrating for you, however it will be very frustrating for me to try and explain it to you. You have to be patient" _With a sigh Castiel answered back "I will try my best, but my apologies if I don't understand something." In the next room Sam and Dean heard Castiel talk to no one in particular and exchanged bemused looks. Realization dawned on Sam and he said in a whisper "I think Cass was talking to Jimmy, looks like your idea really worked!" Dean scoffed at his remark. "Of course it worked my plans always work, I'm brilliant" He looked back at Sam and was met with the bitch face.

Back in the bathroom Cass was stripping away his clothes as instructed by Jimmy. "Now what do I do next?" Castiel asked completely helpless. _Good, now do you see the two valves one with an H and one with a C? Turn both of them until the white line is facing up. _Castiel did as he was instructed and watched curiously as the water began to fall from the shower head. He knew what to do next, he wasn't that clueless, and he carefully stepped into the shower. "Dean" Sam's voice jolted Dean from his thoughts. He turned to Sam "Yeah?" He replied. "I think we should wash Cass' clothes. We might not have this chance for a while." "Good thinking Sammy," and with that Dean walked over to the bathroom door, and knocked lightly.

"Uhh... Cass, I need to come in to get your clothes so I can wash them okay" he said in an uncertain tone. "You can come in" was his reply. He opened the door slightly expecting disaster but saw everything was normal. The shower curtain was closed; he half expected it to be open. He gathered the abandoned clothes that were on the floor and left the bathroom. He tossed the clothes over to Sam. "You can do the washing, it was your idea, plus I want to be here just in case anything goes wrong with Feathers in there" Sam rolled his eyes but obliged and left the room to go to the laundry room. With Sam gone Dean finally got to relax after his long drive and lied down on the bed, head resting against the old wooden headboard listening to the running of water in the shower before drifting off to sleep, for a little.

In the bathroom Cass was rinsing off his face under the light cheat hotel pressure. "_You are doing great. Now grab the wash cloth and spread the soap on top"_ Cass did as he was told and waited for more instructions. _"Now rub the wash cloth against the body in a gentle yet firm manner. But only the body, no hair or face" _Cass furrowed his eye brows in a confused manner but followed orders anyway. Sam entered the room to find Dean asleep and chuckled. He headed over to his brother and lightly shook him awake. "Dean, come on man. Get up" Dean groaned but woke up anyway; he put his hand over his face and rubbed away the sleep. At that moment they heard a thud from inside the bathroom. Dean and Sam exchanged worried glances before running to the bathroom door. "Cass, dude are you okay" The door opened to reveal Castiel with a towel wrapped around his waist, shampoo in his hair and his left eye bloodshot. "I got shampoo in my eyes and now it stings and I can't see from my left eye." Cass looked at Dean like a kicked puppy.

Dean laughed and brushed past Cass to get a washcloth. He carefully wet it and then took Cass' arm in his hand and led him over to the bed. "Sit" he instructed. Cass did as he was told and sat at the edge of the bed. Dean kneeled down and put his left hand on Cass' shoulder before he said "Close your eyes." Cass did without question and Dean started gently rubbing the shampoo from the angel's eye. When he was done Castiel slowly opened his eyes, and the blue met green. They sat there staring at each other until Castiel whispered in a soft tone, "thanks." Dean was pulled from his thoughts at how blue the angel's eyes were; he finally realized how close they were and got up clearing his throat awkwardly. "You should, uh, go get that soap out of your hair and change." Castiel nodded and went back into the bathroom in a hasty manner after quickly grabbing his clothes. While Dean muttered "I think I left something in the Impala" and left the room, leaving the keys on the table. This time, Sam saw the _whole_ thing. Sam smiled to himself at the thoughts of Cass and Dean together. Finally, they were beginning to realize the feelings they experience. He only hoped that Dean would do something about it. As of now, he's glad for the awkward moments, which will eventually lead to realization.

Minutes later Cass came out of the bathroom fully clothed and he walked over to the couch sitting down. Dean came back into the room and stopped abruptly seeing Cass. His clothes were nice and clean, wrinkle free, and his hair was perfectly messy. The way his eyes sparkled in the dim-lit room was pure proof he was anything but human. Dean never thought those things though, _never._ He _never _thought about how sexy looking the angel that stood before him looks right after a shower because Dean Winchester was _100%_ heterosexual. He decided his thoughts were because of his lack of sleep; all he wanted was to get some rest before they invade the factory the next day. So he walked forward and collapsed on his bed. Sam however stayed up a bit later on his laptop before calling it a night. Castiel, well he sat, stood, read, and just thought deeply about emotions and why his heart sped up when Dean was close, why he felt safer and happier around the older Winchester. To the angel is didn't make sense, but to humans we might call it love.

The next day the Winchesters woke up around 7 o'clock and went out to eat. Sam noticed that Dean and Cass seemed more distant towards each other. During the course of the day it was filled with awkward silences, and strange situations, the air was so tense Sam couldn't take it anymore and around 3pm he grabbed the keys and left. Castiel just stared at where he was a minute before with a confused look on his face, and Dean slightly panicked at being left alone with the angel. He wasn't sure what would happen. "Dean, can I ask you something?" Castiel interrupted the silence. Dean looked back "yeah." "What is love" Cass asked in a curious tone. Dean's mind came to a complete stop and was completely baffled. "Love" he managed to question. "Isn't that what I just asked?" "Yeah, I was just making sure."

Dean sat down at the table while Castiel sat across from him. "Well, let's see. Love is, it's uh. I don't know, I don't do these chick-flick moments!" He cried out. As he looked back at Cass he saw the putout look and gave a guilty sigh. So he decided to explain to the angel what love felt like. "Love is when you trust a person with your life, and would do anything to keep them safe. Your heart may skip a beat or increase in speed when you are around them. Sometimes you get a warm, sort of fuzzy feeling that you can't begin to explain. But, you also feel safe, and would go to the ends of the Earth, to Heaven, or to Hell for this person." As Dean was explaining the feelings of love to Cass, all he could relate to was the angel that was sitting across from him. How he just wanted to see what the feel of the angels lips against his would be like. He thought of the shirtless torso from earlier; and the beautiful blue eyes. Castiel only thought of the green-eyed hunter. His short temper, the way he cares for Sam. How family is the most important thing to him. But Cass' mostly wondered what Dean's hand would feel entwined with his. They never found out that they were thinking about each other.

Around 9 o'clock the three were getting ready for the hunt. From what Bobby had told them, the demons were possessing school children, then when school lets out the "kid" would go home and murder their parents. After the parents were killed the demon would possess that body. Dean thought that possessing kids was too much, but making the child kill their parents then possessing the body was too much! Cass had his angel-blade, Dean the gun, and Sam had Ruby's knife. Of course, they had the duffle bag filled with extra weapons. They decided that flying was the best way to remain under the radar. When they landed in the plot outside the rusty factory there was no one on guard. It didn't alarm them because usually demons believed nothing could ever find them, how wrong they are. Cautiously the three entered the factory weapons at the ready but nothing was there. As they neared the middle they came to realize there was absolutely no one there. They lowered their weapons and turned towards each other, when all of the sudden 40 demons popped into the room at once and attacked.

Out of reflex Sam lifted the knife for protection and managed to get one demon down. Dean meanwhile, had lost the gun it being yanked from his grasp unexpectedly and was trying to induce physical damage with punches and kicks. Castiel managed to get three demons down at one time when out of nowhere he was violently forced back, into the corner of the factory. With a violent jerk, all 3 were sent flying back into the walls, and invisible force keeping them up. Dean glanced over and realized Cass was fine and started to struggle; after some attempts to break free and some swearing later a malevolent laugh filled their ears. "So, how are my favorite boys doing?" a voice came from the shadows. It was clearly female.

"What do you want, you son of a bitch? Who are you" Dean asked with a growl. Smiling a dark haired figure came out of the shadows. "Oh, I'm sure you know who I am" she said. "Meg." Sam snarled. "But, of course! My darling father sent me here on official business." Dean and Sam internally panicked but kept the poker face intact. "What kind of official business?" Sam questioned. "Why would I tell you? But, I will say one thing. You won't like the outcome." She then turned to her comrades and with an evil smirk announced, "Get 'em boys!" She quickly disappeared and the three dropped to the floor. The remaining demons then pounced.

Sam and Dean were against 20, between the two that is nothing, and Cass was up against 20 by himself. Castiel was easily using the angel blade and his powers to smite multiple demons at a time. Sam was plunging the knife into demon after demon, the blade becoming stained by the blood. Dean fought bravely shooting the bastards with accuracy, when a knife cut a gash into Dean a hiss and "son of a bitch" escaped his mouth. Cass glanced over at Dean to make sure the wound wasn't fatal when in that small moment Meg appeared before him. "Surprise," she said sadistically. He managed to get 10 down already, but with the sudden appearance he was caught off guard when the angel-blade was pulled out of his hand and pierced his lung. He let out a small gasp before he fell to his knees, blade still in place. Meg's face lit up with joy and she clapped her hands together in success. She then walked away going towards Sam and Dean "Looks like our work here is done boys" she said in a cheerful manner. Without word all the demons left. Dean looked left and looked right. "Cass" he called out. His response was a weak mangled cry "Dean" and violent coughing followed.

Dean's stomach dropped to the floor as he ran over to where the cry came from and there he saw Cass doubled over on the floor knife in his abdomen, blood dribbling down his mouth and more blood on the floor; a mix result of the stab wound and blood filling the lungs. Tears filled Dean's eyes as he rushed over to the angel. "What, what do I do" he asked panic in his voice. "Take the knife out please, I will go faster." "No, you are not dying on me! Not now, this is not what was supposed to happen. You're not going to die" Dean's voice cracked at the end through grief and despair. "Please" Cass asked desperately in a weak voice. Dean slowly closed his eyes and a single tear rolled down his left eye. When he opened them his eyes met the blue ones that were getting dimmer over time.

With a trembling lip he pulled the knife out of the angel and he heard a small gasp escape Cass' lips. With a violent jerk he started coughing up blood once more and fell back onto Dean's chest. "Dean" he managed to whisper before his eyes closed and his breathing became still. Dean broke rocking back and forth crying until he pressed a kiss to Castiel's forehead, "Listen to me you son of a bitch, you are not allowed to die, because I love you! You hear me! I love you, so you get your feathery ass down here right now" he cried out through tears. He waited a few seconds and was greeted with only silence. "Dean" Sam's soft tone interrupted and Dean looked back eyes bloodshot and tear tracks along his face. "He's not coming back, his wings are showing" Shakily Dean got up and walked towards Sam before looking back at the corpse of the man he loves, and sure enough from each shoulder were two black wings. Upon seeing this Dean fell back to his knees and started sobbing, Sam bent down and took his brother in his embrace. Dean sobbed into his brother's shoulder until he couldn't cry anymore. Sam's heart was slowly breaking as well. His brother was slowly breaking inside, and they lost Cass. The closest thing the two have to a best friend.

That was the worst day of Sam and Dean's life. You see, Sam didn't just lose a brother that day, he lost two. Without Castiel, Dean was never the same. After that day Dean Winchester never went to another bar, he never had sex and he never loved another being for the rest of his life. Sam became the one to take care of his brother and make sure he didn't get himself killed. Castiel had a special place in Heaven which was put specifically aside for him. He could watch Dean and Sam but could never hear them, as part of a punishment. This punishment would seem as the most ridiculous thing for human. He was being punished for loving. Angels aren't supposed to love, especially humans. He was a disgrace to angels and they looked down on him. Because of loving, he died, because of loving he was punished, the punishment caused him to never hear Dean when he confessed his love. All this happened because of forbidden love.


End file.
